More evil nursey vitis for Peter Bear

Poor little fella - more jabs, more pain, more sleepless nights for Mrs B and myself :/

Ah well, it's gotta be done, I guess. Just wish the nurse this time wasn't so crappy!

In other news, have posted my crapometer entries to Miss Snark. I'm in the 500s, so it'll be a little while till I have a response! Lol. Eagerly awaiting news ...

Oh, so it's a love story!!!

*ahem* quite.

I was bemoaning my lot, yestermorn, at the lackadaisical hook I produced for the Blood of Es in submission to Dear Miss Snark's happy hooker crapometer. "I'm trying to figure out what the story is about," I complained.

"Well," the wonderfully contrite Mrs B said, a sarcastically raised eyebrown lampooning my dilemma, "it's a love story, innit?"

"Is it?" quoth I, surprised.

"Well, yeah," she said, although from her tone of voice one could be quite sure she was actually saying: well, duh!

So, I know the direction to take now. All I need is the time in which to do it! lol

Merry Crimble Everybody (Mrs B made some yummy mincepies :) mmmmmm)

Sunday morning - blah

Guess what? I had a glass of beer last night and it was goooooooood! :)

Wychcraft from the Wychwood brewery - a 'blonde beer' or, to the rest of us - a larger - lol. So crisp and clean and yummy :) Their Hobgoblin is yummy too - a rich, strong, dark ale - mmmmmmmm ........................

Now it's ten past eight on a sunday morning and i'm trying to hold a wriggly 15 week old baby while typing out this blog - d'oh! and gruh?!!!

Poopy baby

So this morning, Peter waited until I was up to have a poo. Bloody typicao, eh?!!

I still haven't managed to get much done on my book :/ but we've been very productive in terms of sorting everything out in this new town. I have even put all the Xmas decorations up. Woo hoo ... go me !!!!!!!!!!

Gorgeous Mrs B is fast asleep upstairs, resting her perty head, and ickle fluff-bum is rolling around the floor and gurgling!

Bless

All together now ...

awwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Fluffbum is teething and after 20 minutes of screaming and a generous applique of calgel, he's nodded off on my lap.

He needs the sleep so I won't disturb him :

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Blasted medical professionals

I swear, they are in fact trained in the style of the Inquisition - yes, the Spanish one.

So, Professor Woolfe prodded and poked and, in response to me telling him that my left knee is particularly bad at present, he takes out his rubber mallet and whacks it a couple of times for good measure. "bend forward without bending your knees," he says, having just cracked my already acheing knees a thumping good blow. "Does this hurt?" he says, twisting my wrist again after seeing me wince with sharp intake of breath and trying to pull away from his painful intrusions.

And then the blasted "community health practitioner" with the enormous needle inserted roughly into tender arm and yanked out equally painfully.

Bastards

Look who's back, baby ;p

Well, that was a stressful week or so!

Thank dear dogness that it's all over and done with! On Friday, at 4.24 pm, with less than a day and a half till we moved into our lovely new cottage in Callington, we got a call from the council offering us a flat in Pensilva. Of course, as we were technically to leave our previous adress on the Satruday they would have been unable to visit us there to verify our details so we were no longer eligible for the flat. The council, being the council, refused to speak to us on Friday about our case as we figured we had every right to that flat and that they were just being ridiculously pedantic about it, and so, for fear of losing out on the cottage and having nowhere to go and having to stay with the in-laws indefinately, we took the cottage.

Ho hum. Yesterday, the lady from Ocean Housing that was to manage the property told us she wanted to pursue it and that it had gone all the way to top management between them and the council about how they messed us around and that we were the rightful tenants. Of course, we'd have to get out of our current contract which would cost 5 months rent. We could claim that back from the council in compensation but it would take forever and cost us more money to pursue than we have, so we've just given up.

Poo to the council. Poo, I say.

Still, this cottage is lovely. Very lovely indeed. The cats and Peter and mummy bear are all happy to be here. Well, fluffy bear (Peter) is teething and so grumpy in general, but he seems happy here anyway :)

And daddy bear is happy to be here too.

Now, for tomorrow. I have to go to see Professor Woolfe. He's going to cause me pain, I know it. *shudders* I hate hospitals :/ Me a little scared.

Temporary Access

I am temporarily here, typing on a laptop at the inlaws. Our belongings are in storage, our baby is teething, cranky, but mercifully asleep, and our bed is a matress on the floor! At least we're not on the couch! lol

We pick up the keys to the new place on Sunday morning, so should soon be back to work on Blood of Es. Have not had any opportunity to do any work and things are a little stressy at the moment.

Anyways, better be getting on. I will post a fuller post at a post-moving post-time! lol

PLUG

So, I've posted the synopsis so far and the revised hook over at my sister blog: http://bloodofes.blogspot.com/

So, if you wanna check it out ... you know what to do :)

Other news - it's so cold here. Still, tonight will be our last night in this bungalow with the hole in the wall and the no-central-heating and the no-carpets-throughout and the crappy landlords ...

So, YAYAYAYAYAY

Today I transport most of the remaining small bits and bobs - boxes of DVDs, kitchen equipment, tins of tomatoes, etc. I was gonna take the PC too, but that will wait till Sunday with the big van move :)

Hey, I don't want to miss out on my time-wasting-time! LOL

We'll sleep here tonight and then I'll mosey on over with the kitties tomorrow morning, pop back here to move kitchen white-goods closer to the door so Sunday goes more easily, and then whip my super son and wonderful wifey up to her parents' where we'll spend the next week waiting for our cottage in Callington to be free :) Woo Hoo Hoo

I'm telling you, it was so cold last night I had a dream that I was at a children's party with Peter. He was about 6 years old and it was a pool party. He was so cold he clung to me for warmth and I was just telling him that if they didn't add hot water we'd get out when I was woken up by Peter crying (because he was cold - it was way to early in the am for him to have had enough sleep) with Khaymen (the cat) purring on my chest!

Brrrrrrrrrrr

Grarrrrrrr

My son rocks :)

Further Items Of Interest

Well, it appears that we have Peter's sleep routine sorted out. Last night, despite teething and having nappy-rash as a result, despite having been out all afternoon at his gran's for her 60th birthday, despite us being more stressed out than a steel wire on a suspension bridge by this impending move, and despite having his second round of jabs on monday, he was wide awake when I put him in his cot but instead of fighting it and crying, he moaned for about 2 1/2 mins and was then asleep. And he stayed like that till we got him up for a dream feed at about 10pm, and then continued like that till he woke up for a feed at 4! Woo Hoo Hooooooooooooooo!

It is now that hazy time of the morning where I have a little time to work on my book before he gets up at 7 but spend most of it wasting my time on the internet ... oops, better get on with my work!

LOL

More jabs and one in the eye from the council - FUCKERS

So, Peter had his second round of nursey jabs this morning and he's taken it rather well *touches wood - ooh, the rudeness*

Then, on another note, Mrs B called the council to see what the dangdigereedoo is happening to our sodding claim for Housing Benefit - we're talking over two months now - and they've only gone and completely messed it up. They've got information that is incorrect and, on one occasion, completely untrue. A cheque for a very small amount is being sent to our landlord, and the remainder that is owed to us (and they verified over the phone that they made mistakes and it'll be reasessed) will be paid (again to the landlord) after we have moved out.

Dear dog, the complete and utterly incomparable nitwitery of the council knows fewer bounds than a boundless thing boundlessly bouncing a boundless ball on boundless-eve.

Fuckers!

So tired

Well, I've run three loads of the car up to the storage container and going to do another one this morning. There's not that much left here in the bungalow. But what with a teething baby, controlled crying, my arthritis and the autumnal weather, I'm feeling a mite out of sorts!

Never mind. I'll live :)

I've been making good progress on my fantasy novel. Starting chapter six now and it's just over 16k words long already. I had originally thought about making it a trilogy but have decided to make it a stand-alone story - so I have to be careful not to let it overrun too badly!

Well, it's good fun, so better get back to it.

Oh, and one last thing:

i wuv my wifey, i wuv my wife, i wuvy my wifey, my bootiful wife
so does my baby, my baby boy, so does my baby, my woderful son
we wuv you mummy, we wuv you bear, you are so wuvly, we wuv you and so there :p

ciaou!

Bollocking from Mrs B

Sorry me dear. I'll stop worrying. I won't stress that the samples posted to Fantasy Writers haven't had a single hit. Screw them all, anyway! I'll just get on and write my book.

Sowwy

I wish I wasn't so insecure about my writing. I worry about every word - every sentence - even the chapter structure and perspectives taken through the stories. And I read back through what I've done and worry whether what I've done is any good anyway! I mean, I'm so familiar with what I've written and I know where the story is going and to what the various nuances refer ... but would a reader get it? Would my reader even like what I've done? Would they bother to read on passed the prologue, and if so, would they keep reading - would I have them interested enough to actually care about the story and the characters?

My wife patiently reads everything I do, sometimes at knife point (lol) and says she likes it ... but even if it wasn't any good she'd probably say that! I've posted it to fantasy-writers.org (well, the prologue and first two chapters) and am hoping to get some feedback from there ... but then I've read some of the indisputably crap stuff that's posted there, so am not even sure whether to trust what any of them say - except they are the target audience, for the most part, as they are mostly amateur writers that like reading fantasy and playing Warhammer and write their stories based on the moves of their pieces that time they beat Hairy Dave with their band of Orcs and a Dark Elf Wizard!!!

And, shit man, I started to read Robert Jordan's famous Wheel of Time saga last night. I read the prologue and thought ... whoah - a bit heavy on the "thee and thou" language - but I suppose that's a good indication of the genre - but I find it somewhat tedious when it then takes a couple of thousand words to describe a pair of men riding horses through a wood into a village! I mean, seriously ... same problem with Tad Williams - why is each of his books over a thousand pages? How the hell does this tripe get published. Most people that read these books say - yeah, good story, but really slow to get going and a bit overlong ... so how did they get agents and publishers and the like, when it's clear from the advice of these same agents and publishers and self-help books and the writers and artists' yearbook etc that what is required to get published is a snappy query letter, a gripping synopsis, an opening that captures their attention and then continues to hold it, and that is well written ...

I'm still determined to crack on with what I'm doing, just feeling a bit daunted by the whole mountain of shit against which I must pit myself.

Hopefully I'll get some feedback from fantasy writers, and I'll keep on bugging my perfick wife coz she's a fantasy writer too and this one's for her ... and I do trust her to tell me what she thinks, I just know that she'll also feel obliged to sugar coat it a little too - but then she is my wifey and if she doesn't massage my ego from time to time, who will ... not to mention Bilbo ;)

LOL

Hoograahaa, I've also been given stronger co-codomol from the doctors and it's making me a little drifty in the head! But yay - I finally have an appointment to see the specialist ... no doubt he'll look at me and say, yeah, psoriasis, aches and pains that are not caused by rheumatism or trapped nerves or whatever - well - it's obvious what you got sonny, especially as your dad has it too ... here, have some more pills and a bit of physio - but at least it'll be a start on getting well again - me hopes.

What a week!

Phew, so glad that is over.

After the drama of the first part of the week, Friday did not go according to plan. We had been told by the estate agent that the landlord of the Liskeard flat had agreed to us as tenants in principle and just wanted to meet us to make sure we were "their sort of folks".

Well, when we got there, they didn't even know our names. They had been told that there was another couple coming to view the flat. That's right: another. We were another couple in a long list of people they had viewing the flat. They hadn't even been told about us or our circumstances.

We went to the estate agent afterwards who then told us that the landlords didn't think the flat was right for us as there was a noisy and troublesome neighbour and we have a small baby.

Well, I'm grateful to the landlords for their honesty, but am soooooooo annoyed at the estate agent for the lack of theirs. I cannot believe that they could tell us such out-and-out lies.

Luckily the local paper came out Friday and we found a property for rent in Callington. We called the number and they said we could come straight over and view it. And so we did.

It was a beautiful big cottage with plenty of space for a growing family and a reasonable rent and central heating and a NICE BIG BATH!!!!!! Oh, we were so excited and had a chat with the landlords (private renting=no scummy estate agents). They took our details and told us they were doing more viewings over the weekend and would let us know as soon as possible.

Oh we were all aquiver. Then, at about 10 am on saturday, they called us to tell us they wanted us as their tenants.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

We're all sorted and don't have to deal with that crappy estate agent again.

Woo Hoo Hooooooooooooooooooooooo

Second try

Okay, that sucked. Mrs B has set me straight :) ta very muchly perfick one.

How's this for size?

The Blood of Es
by Rhease Linnell.

Not even the dragons had heeded Jayth’s warning. Now they are dead.

Mistaking the goddess’ warning for a threat, Davyl has done his utmost to protect those that he loves. In so doing, he imprisons Her and taps too deeply into the power of Es itself. Warped by powers he cannot control the Chief Druid breaks the veil between the world of the living and that of the dead.

A band of peaceful nomads are drawn unwillingly into the fray by the machinations of the faeries, desperate to save their land, and they join Jayth as he searches for the lost dragons. They soon come to realise that they must enlist the help of the dark fire god, Koto. They must be careful, for Koto’s agenda has always been destruction.

But Koto is the counterweight to light. Without him, there cannot be balance.

How's this for a hook?

Over at Miss Snark's blog, she'll be doing a crapometer next month on hooks. The plan is to post hooks to novels and she'll critique. This is intended to hook an agent/publisher's interest in a query letter. She wanted it in under 250 words, and mine is247 - so just in there. If anyone is reading my blog, let me know what you think:

The Blood of Es
by Rhease Linnell.

Not even the dragons had heeded Jayth’s warning. Now they are dead and even the goddess has abandoned the people of Es.

Es and its people are dying and Jayth must find the last of the dragons. With their help, it might be possible to rescue the goddess.

Mistaking Her warning for a threat, Davyl has done his utmost to protect those that he loves. In so doing, he has imprisoned the goddess and taps too deeply into the power of Es itself. Warped by powers he cannot control the Chief Druid breaks the veil between the world of the living and that of the dead.

Told in the third person, this novel weaves a web of magic and intrigue. The style is brief and the pacing fast. It begins with a prologue in which the goddess delivers her warning. The story then continues three hundred years later as Davyl is preparing to go to a barren region of Es where he will mine so deeply that he taps into the Blood of Es. It follows him on his journey and in alternating chapters, also follows the fortunes of Jayth and his companions.

As Jayth searches for the lost dragons, he comes to realise that he must enlist the help of the dark fire god, Koto. He must be careful, for Koto’s agenda has always been destruction.

But Koto is the counterweight of light. Without him, there cannot be balance.

Items of interest

So:

We've been up since 5.30 am running around like headless chickens. Yes, our necks have been severed midway through the night. By our flipping landlord. So, you've been complaining about damp and mould since you've moved in. Well, we're going to come over at 8.30am tomorrow to repaint the whole room and put a vent in the wall. What? You have a baby? You don't want to stay the night there with paint fumes? You're moving out in three weeks anyway? You really don't want to have to empty the whole room and then put it all back in again with only three weeks left before you have to pack up and move anyway?

Tough noodles, poodles. We're the landlords, and we've shceduled the work and wouldn't want to inconvenience the next set of tenants who, quite frankly, we haven't yet found nor have we advertised, nor has anyone expressed any interest, nor can we possibly wait three weeks when we've made you wait 5 months already!

So, here I am, sleep deprived, having whisked wife, baby and cats round to the inlaws for the day, sat in a room full of two rooms worth of stuff, with a "decorator" drilling a hole through the wall when he's not playing with his radio and having breaks, grumpy and a tad miffed at the whole escapade.

And to think, the estate agent has said she will be on holiday on the day we are due to give her the keys, so can we move out the week before so that she can do it all then? Can we fuckadoodledoo. Fuck them. Fuck them up their stoopid asses, you goddamned cockmaster. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, our landlord's a bitch, she's a stupid bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a mean old bitch, just a stupid fucking bitch, she's a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch, she's a stupid bitch, our landlord is a stupid bitch. Our landlord's a biiiiiiiiiiatch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, yay, we're meeting the new landlord at the liskeard flat on friday so he can reassure himself that we are not crack heads, or whatever, and then on to the new estate agent (who is also, no doubt, a stupid bitch - despite being male) to, hopefully, sort out our new tenancy.

In other other news, I learned yesterday that an ex of mine who took way more substances of interest then were ever good for her and used all my money to obtain them, who has drunk copious quantities of alcohol on more occasions than I've breathed, has just learned she has impaired liver functions. Stupid bitch. I still feel for her, though. Damn, to be forced not to drink when addicted! But she did do it to herself, so I'm not that understanding. It's just my brother was informed he had to stop drinking a few years ago as he had impaired liver function also. That didn't stop him, though. He still drinks more often than he should, so I can't see the ex stopping either. At least I don't have to deal with her. Stupid bitch!

LOL

And: the final Item of Interest:

I love my wifey, I love my wife
I love my wifey, my beautiful wife
She is so wonderful
And kind and sexy
I love my wifey, I love my wife.

My wife is lovely, my wife is great
My wife is lovely, my super wife
She is so wonderful
And kind and sexy
My wife is lovely, my wife is great.

My wife's a mummy, a great mummy
My wife's a mummy, a wonderful mum
She is so wonderful
And kind and sexy
My wife's a mummy, a great mummy.

ORTEGA's AHOY-GA

So, Mr Ortega is back in the driving seat. You know, I spent some time in Nicaragua and I'm not surprised that the ex-prez can make a come back. So what if he did whatever it is the American press say he did. The truth on the ground is that Nicaraguans are very peaceful, very friendly and very poor. They couldn't give a flying monkey if the privelaged few had their riches taken away and redeployed to arms to fight off the American-funded Counter-Revolutionaries.

I don't mean to sound overly political, but all the Nicaraguans I met were lovely lovely people. Even the thirteen year old soldier I shared a cigarette with while he hugged his carbine to his chest outside the army barracks in Rio Blanco. A really nice kid. I couldn't speak Spanish very well. He couldn't speak English at all. But he smiled just the same as any one else I've ever met.

And the family in Achuapa that housed, fed and washed my clothes for three weeks: a nicer bunch you couldn't hope to meet.

When we were sat at the top of a mountain overlooking the valley finca owned by one of Nicaragua's most prominent barristers, we were told folk tales that really gave a feel for how full and complex these people are. And for all the sophistication of a barrister, he still was never happier than when he was wading out into his lake, dragging a net across to scoop up a large haul of fish for the fiesta he threw that night.

When the sun peaked its head up over the distant mountains as I sat outside the house in Achuapa I was so happy and at peace. The family's dog was sat at my heel, the dad was out cutting wheat with his machete, the mother was collecting water to cook the kidney beans and rice, the kids were getting ready for school and the world was just busily getting on with life.

Good on Mr Ortega. Please don't fuck these loveley people over.

Peace out.